Life in Mascara: September 2014

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

A Fresh Start

i ran this blog years ago when i had a completely different lifestyle than i do now. i was about 10 years into my relationship with my ex, we owned a home, and i had a high paying job. on the outside we had it all. on the inside we sung a different tune. many years i kept quiet and endured what i thought i had to. i felt so alone and abandoned. i distanced myself from a lot of people that meant so much to me. it was easier that way, at least for me it was. i wouldn't have to lie to them or pretend. i think the pretending was the worst. i was always nervous and afraid i would mess up and then i would get in trouble for it. 

during this time i wasn't "allowed" to do many things, including anything creative, because it would take my attention away from my "responsibilities". i shut down my creative side completely not realizing just how much that would affect me. when through God's grace i was able to walk away i knew i had to make up for lost time. only the problem was i no longer knew who i was or what i liked. 

it has been over 2 years since "the great escape". i couldn't be happier and have been blessed with such a strong support system that has helped me reintegrate myself into the world. i am now working on many different projects (one of them being my upcoming wedding to a wonderful and caring man) and getting to really know myself. i am restarting this blog with a different mentality. i want to share my journey and my lifestyle and hopefully give women out there a voice and my support. many may wonder why i chose to keep the same domain and not create a new one, but i think it is ironic that i chose 'Life in Mascara' as my title not realizing that it was exactly the life i was living. i was coating my life with a gloss, a barrier, that would keep me protected in a way i thought i needed to be. now i see it as a reference to the polished life i choose to live.

so take this journey with me and let's live it together.