Life in Mascara: From a Negative Nancy to a Positive Polly

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

From a Negative Nancy to a Positive Polly

i have never been one of those people who are always chipper and who people always think about as being happy and positive. i wear my emotions on my face and anyone can tell when i am in a bad mood. i completely shut down and stop talking. i learned this from constantly being told that what i had to say wasn't important and after hearing the words 'i don't care' over and over again, you sort of learn to just internalize everything. the internal dialogue in my mind is in constant stream and in two languages at that (Spanish is my first language). i am not saying that this is healthy but over the years i have been working on expressing my feelings, my wants, my demands, my cravings. when boyfriend and i started dating this was one of the things we both knew we needed to work on . it was very hard for me at first to even vocalize a simple request such as 'let's go eat here'. i wouldn't look at him in the eyes for long. i would cower and shrug my shoulders in and i would cringe at the sound of my name. who does that? unfortunately, many of us do. 

being the avid reader that i am (currently trying to reach my New Year's resolution of reading 52 books in a year) i came across The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. in it she documents a year of her life in where she sets out to become a happier person by identifying and reevaluating what areas she knew she needed to readdress. Ok guys, I read this book in two days and only because I had to go to work. lame. i loved it. i didn't see it as a self help book but in the current black hole i had set up residence in, it was the only book that spoke to my soul. in the book Rubin writes her 'commandments' as a guideline or rules of how she should address things. she also made a list, her 'happiness projects' of the areas that she wanted to focus on. i constantly found myself thinking very much like she did and agreeing with her on many things. Rubin, of course, was not coming out of an abusive relationship but she is human and is subject to things that can overtime create resentment in ourselves. 

i knew i wanted to do my own version of this happiness project and instantly busted out my Sugar Paper for Target planner (2015 planners to be released Nov. 1, 2014 eeeekkkkk!!!! anyone? anyone? just me? oh...) and my matching hot pink pen and got straight to work. Inserting bad scanned image in 3,2,1...

epic handwriting example up above
while this may make sense to myself and myself only, that is exactly the point. this works for me. when i am having a bad day, i can refer back to this and find that one of these guidelines can apply.
i encourage you to look deeply into your life and truly ask yourself 'am i happy?'. if the answer is no, do not be afraid. instead be inspired and empowered to start your own happiness project.
what is one guideline, mission statement, rule that you strongly abide by? 

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