Life in Mascara: Special Saturday: Who I Am Today Is Partly Because of You

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Special Saturday: Who I Am Today Is Partly Because of You

I sat down last week to write my dad his Father's Day card. In it I thanked him for having taught me many things and for instilling in me a sense of pride over my worth ethic. I told him I was who I am today because of him. That got me thinking. While my father and my mother were the pillars of my youth, I am not a clone of them. I have my own ideas, my own tastes, my own beliefs that often vary wildly from theirs. If they taught me everything, where did all the variances come from?

We are surrounded by many individuals who walk side by side to us. They too have their own beliefs. They are their own person. But it is the moment when we come into contact with them that they imprint on our lives. For better or for worse, you will always remember certain conversations, certain people, certain experiences. This will mark you. This will make you who you are. This is why years from now you will remember them when someone asks you why you put peanut butter and jelly on Ritz Crackers (thank you Tech Style News). 

But not all interactions with others are positive. We are clouded with negativity and fester hurt feelings. We give ugliness a place in our hearts. And it is during this dark period that we manifest it towards others. It is up to that other person to either receive and reciprocate or to deflect and grow. Either way, negative interactions mark us as well and it will be something we too will always carry.

I can easily dwell on my hurtful past and harbor anger for those that wronged me. But as I work on forgiving and growing, I realize too that I am who I am because I lived through these moments with certain people. I shared their pain. I took it on from them. But in the end, I chose to leave their dark cloud and look for greener pastures. While they are no longer in my life, they still marked me. Our experience together made me grow, made me hesitant to certain things, and open to others. What I am trying to say is upon reflection, there can still be growth as an outcome from a dark place. And that is where I choose to stand. Upright, growing and accepting.

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