Life in Mascara: To All The Dog Lovers Out There

Friday, June 12, 2015

To All The Dog Lovers Out There

***Fair warning: if you are human, you will cry at this video***

Husband showed me this video the other day. I could barely get through it. It made my heart hurt so much and it was all I could do from not launching into the Kim Kardashian ugly cry. Dogs. One of God's most beautiful creation. The most pure form of love that can ever exist.

This is very emotional for me because as I write this my dog Bear has been in the hospital since Monday. I came home to him laying down crying in pain. That dog never cries. Ever. Not even when I almost lost him to diabetes. He is strong and my ever faithful companion. As I scooped him up I noticed how swollen his left leg was all the way up to his armpit where a rather large bump had formed. Last month, he had a spider bite on his chest form into a ball and then rupture. Now this. He just can't win.

Bear is a mystery of science. He always is. His tests never come out completely positive or completely negative. It is always a lot of guess work and praying we are doing the right thing. As I held him in my arms waiting for them to take him to the back, I cried all over his little head as he rested lethargically and whimpering against my chest. I soothed him as best I could and prayed with an open heart for God to save him as I was sure this was the end and I was not prepared to be without Bear. But as I prayed and Bear's pain became more evident, I thought 'how selfish can I be' and knew I was praying for the wrong thing. With all the pain in my heart, I whispered into Bear's ear that I knew he was in pain and if he needed to let go to do so. I thanked him for having given me 8 beautiful years together and for protecting me and loving me. For teaching me more than anything how to properly love and care for someone. If I am maternal it is because of having to consistently take care of him during all of his illnesses. I told him he no longer had to worry about protecting me. That I was safe and I was loved by the family we now had. I assured him I would love him forever. But my Bear, my ever strong Bear, he was not ready to give up.

After countless tests and guesses of cancer, cushings, and thyroid Bear was found to have gall bladder stones and irritated lymph nodes. The most concerning thing was how badly his glucose has been fluctuating going as high as 3 times its normal rate and then crashing far under normal as well. 5 days my fur baby has been away from us and today I will go see him and hold him. I could not go before so as not to excite him and cause his glucose to sway any more than it should. I am afraid to rejoice at the fact that he is getting better because I know that he can be taken away from me at any second. But my heart fills with panic and then relief when the vet calls me twice a day for an update. Every morning I call and talk to the attendant to see how Bear woke up and every time I ask that they tell him that I love him and that I miss him. I want nothing more for my Bear to come home healthy and be the happy curvacious Min Pin he has always been. Until then I leave it all in God's hands and will continue to do what is best for Bear. I owe him at least that. I really owe him everything. 

If you are a dog lover, hug and love on your pets every day for we know not how long they are here for. And if it is in your heart, please send some prayers up for Bear and some happy thoughts. We here at Life in Mascara would be eternally grateful. 

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